I am an artist, a wife, a mother, a friend, a deviant and a special education teacher. I say artist first because I cease to be sane if i don't work on my art, seriously, I have to go into therapy... My work is an evolution of my experiences and philosophy. It spans multiple mediums and subjects, most recently focusing on the balance of expression and form. I spend a lot of time on chaos theory and macro/micro theory. The theory of balance and entropy in the universe fuels my inspiration. I love movies and philosophy, sometimes spiraling into deep conversations about both. These are my musings and thoughts, as well as insight into my artistic process and my work
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Well, it has been a CRAZY month! we moved into the house...it is great! I love it! I have my own studio finally!!! still a little surreal, and not completely settled, but great! i even started working on some new work. Jon's episodes are starting to air, and that is really awesome, to see him on screen is really neat! But here is the big news.... in a whirlwind of action, i am now a teacher and i start on monday after thanksgiving!! it is truly amazing. i knew i wanted to go back to school and get my teaching license, but i thought it would take a while to get a job, even with the internship (which basically means i would teach as i was going to school) but to my amazement i got my application into cnm, got accepted, and recieved a job offer at the school at which i already work! what a strange turn of events! we we are hosting turkey day at our new house, and i have to sign my new contract tomorrow! i am a little overwhelmed to say the least!
well, it happened! we signed the papers today, we are officially home owners. moving this weekend, and getting psyched! got all the stuff hooked up, so we will have heat, and electricity! i have taken to journaling, and have to transcribe a whole bunch of stuff, but for now... this will have to do. i spent some time on set with Jon, and have many thoughts regarding film and television production. It is very interesting to think about the amount of planning and artifice that goes into making something seem real and non-artificial...food for thought. i don't even know what i feel about the house, we have been gearing up for this for about two years and i am so used to being where i am, that it really hasn't hit me yet. i think next week, when i can come home and veg out at MY HOME it will be good. i can't wait to set up my studio!
people who work in film are a special breed. everyone knows at least one actor...they are their own thing all together. but i think the whole film industry attracts a certain personality. i have been going to wrap parties with jon for a while now, and they always seemed a little strange. i don't work with the people and often i feel like it is an opportunity for jon to schmooze and hang out and i just stay in the background. last night, though, was great. i finally know enough people to have fun and converse comfortably. there were also way more actors there, which was neat! i get star struck which is one of many reasons why i can't work in film. our attitude was different going in too, just to have fun, not necessarily network, but it ended up happening anyway. i really feel like it is a great chance for me to network also. it is hard work with long hours, and i can understand why they want to let loose when they get a chance. there is a lot of drama, and most everyone has to be the canter of attention, but i think that is human nature. even i want to be the center, i have that in me ;) it is always fun when an actor is enamoured of me ;) Glenn Gulia likes my laugh
well, i have finally figured out flickr! what an arduous task! when building a network of multi-media representations of oneself there are a lot of applications one has to sync together! so now i have four emai addresses! none of which can i forward or merge together wit any of the others, but i need in order to make the applications work! personal, work, website and now yahoo for flickr! and i have a facebook page! i think i have gotten it all rounded up though, so really i just have to check the personal and the website! ugh! food for thought, how many different social networking tools does one person need?! but i digress... this week has been jam-packed full of happenings and information! first i close on the house in two weeks! (hope) if nothing goes wrong i will finally have MY OWN STUDIO!!! i have not had a suitable studio since college! sneaking my easel out into the living room, making sure not to get paint on the burber carpet, or waiting until the weather is decent enough to go out on the patio is just not cutting it! the process of getting all of my supplies out, set up, comfortable and working for x amount of hours, only to then have to pack it all up back into the garage is enough to sap the inspiration right out of me! i am master to the whims of the muse, not what time everyone gets home from work. no offence, i am eternally greateful to have had a place to live rent free for the last three years, but it is creatively stifling. so that is great! i don't even remember what i own, it has been so long! i guess if i have made it this long without, do i really need any of it at all? i mean, i know some stuff will come in handy such as furniture and cookware, but i know my porcelain doll collection is just creepy! so the studio is a must, not to mention having one's own space! good things, mazel! ps, i'm going to be an aunt!
so, yet again my ass has been kicked by my older sister ;) sometimes you need that. it's pointless to have a blog if you don't use it, so... i changed up the layout and added a bunch of gadgets! Fall is upon us! i just spent three days in Taos at a wool festival! i didn't even know they had wool festivals, but i guess it is not surprising. there are festivals for just about anything and woolis actually a commodity, that you can make shit with, so... Wool people are interesting to say the least. there is this big SCA Ren Fair vibe, and A LOT of pan flute, but the shawls are amazing! textile art, or cloth making (not sure what to call it) is a medium i just can't get into myself, but boy, i can appreciate the skilz! it was an arty weekend all around. i met a great artist who ons a gallery in taos and he was fab! the artist vibe is alive and well, though kind of beaten down by the economy. i have to get an etsy store!
so, it has been a while... school has started, and it is very interesting getting back into the swing of things! the kids are great, but still on vacation mentally. this is my first fall semester and it is good to start at the begining of the year. i am feeling a little lost though, i know it will take a while to get into a routine and figure out how to best reach each kid, but it is hard! jon and i are still looking for a house, and it is a hell of a job! we have now put in an offer on our third house and we are trying to stay calm and patient, but it is difficult to be emotionless and let it happen. you don't want to get attached, but you have to feel something if you are going to be living in this house for years. people do some crazy stuff to their houses, stuff that makes no sense...strange additions and weird rooms. we are hoping for the best, but ready for the worst!
so, summer blockbusters aye? well what we have is a whole lot of sequels. what is up? for the past oh, say five years mainstream american movies have been in a dry spell...(well technically it has been a lot longer than five years, but eh) so far we have terminator, batman, transformers, night at the museum, indiana jones, ice age, x-men, star trek...not to mention the remakes like fun with dick and jane, mr and mrs smith, effing land of the lost!!! good grief!! i mean every so oftern there is a glimmer of light and we have something new, but that quickly becomes the next new thing and is used and abused until we cant stand it anymore! i know for a fact that there are still amazing, brilliant ideas out there, but the general public has such a marginalized idea of what entertainment is that they will gobble up regurgitated crap for eons! we will also shell out handfulls of money to see the same movie (mall cop, observe and report) or a trend in movies...vampires anyone?? how about teen pregnancy?
I have come out of hibernation! we have a new president! and i fell great! even though the econome is in the shitter, i am optomistic! i left a child (my art gallery) it was an ugly break-up, but i have moved on, and have gone out on my own again to beat down the world of galleries! So, spring is upon us! so many things going on, new job, break-ups, connections etc. I find it hard to keep things in perspective. I am in a transitional moment and all i can think of is the result. i have been having dreams about our house...well soon to be house, well the idea of the house that we haven't seriously started looking for because we are "saving the down payment and the "buffer" six month expenses 'just in case' fund and i don't want to fall in love with a place we can't afford or is sold out from under us"- house. but i keep having dreams about gardening, and decorating and building a studio, and having PARTIES! God i love parties, i am the best hostess! i love to socialize and have people in my home, i can't wait to be able to have people over again!
so...fuck it. i am sick of power hungry, petty, controlling, venomous assholes. i have poured my heart and soul into something and these thieves have no regard for anyone other than themselves. if others choose not to see the conniving tactics, then i just feel sorry for them. i hate being misunderstood. i hate being the bad guy, but what can i do? i can just be honest. it sickens me whrn people try to intimidate others, to throw their weight around and use fear to get what they want. who the #^$% do they think they are?!?!
we no more, i will not surround myself with that kind of negativity. i have spent so much time compromising and giving in to others demands and ideas, and im done