I am an artist, a wife, a mother, a friend, a deviant and a special education teacher. I say artist first because I cease to be sane if i don't work on my art, seriously, I have to go into therapy... My work is an evolution of my experiences and philosophy. It spans multiple mediums and subjects, most recently focusing on the balance of expression and form. I spend a lot of time on chaos theory and macro/micro theory. The theory of balance and entropy in the universe fuels my inspiration. I love movies and philosophy, sometimes spiraling into deep conversations about both. These are my musings and thoughts, as well as insight into my artistic process and my work
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i have always been a social person. i was the girl who would make it a personal goal to introduce myself to every person at a function, and i do mean every person. so i find it kind of odd that i have opted to stay home and watch jane goodall, or bones instead of joining my friends for libations. it's not that i don't want to see them, i just can't muster enthusiasm to be around others. i suppose i have had to learn to like my own company since my hubby has been in and out for weeks at a time, but i have always used that time as a way to hang out just with friends. i miss the light-hearted hang-outs of yore. we used to just be able to get together, drink, laugh, now it always feels strained. everyone with their busy lives. i was told that i can be too clingy, and that sort of thing sticks with you, however, now that i have let go there is no one out there to let go of. i dunno, i miss having a regular group. i ahve wasted too much time and energy trying to be friends with people who don't return the favor, i want my friends to like me and like spending time with me, i surely do them. eh, fuck 'em.
so i had a show last night at La Iglesia, the new building we are using for the Albuquerque Arts Consortium. The AAC is a non profit organization i have become involved with whos goal is to offer arts education to the albq community at low to no cost. We are just getting off the ground and this party/show last night was a way to introduce us to the community. I sold two pieces! it was great, i was not expecting it, my show will be up for a month, so i thought it would take a while to generate business, but this was awesome! i feel great, a little elated and it is always kinda sad to see a piece go... but what am i trying to do here!? anyway i just feel great about it and it is giving me a renewed sense of acomplishment; and motivation.
I came across some poems, and thought about writing again... it's been a while, i thought i would post them
he killed the eel to feel the pill steal the quill that fuels the fire a flock of found feathers flew through the thickest thicket thought of you yellow and yawning youth yammered on an ocean of organs open to total autonomy treachery treads lightly to deal with dominatrix deadly deals were dealt to the left listen to long loud laughs light up the moon must I move motionless and mindlessly melting? magnificent
YOU LOOK THROUGH SCRATCHED LENSES AT MY PERFECTION NOT SEEING THE REASON MY TONGUE IS TIED AND FORCIBLY, I REMOVE MYSELF FROM THE ROOM
find the flawless feature that eludes most open my eyes to the thought of you a sideways glance that says too much you stop yourself and I feel incriminated all that I can’t say spills out through my eyes and I have to look away thoughts thought through thinking things so much is understood with out having to say it I threw you the obvious, sings Maynard and it makes me think you will never know you say things you shouldn’t I think things I shouldn’t I want things I shouldn’t
listlessly waiting for the truth to lead me patience is a virtue I do not possess wanting everything all at once traveling through a stained glass world and finding a circular past motionless I stand at a gate forbidden you taunt me from the other side wanting to fade into arms and legs an ocean of flesh too much is a good thing ecstasy and agony arrive with you joining us on a passion high
Through the fog of the scent Of nag champa or patchouli I see you, not the you that other people see, But the real you The you they write novels about The you they make speeches about This could be about two people This is about two people About two people I can’t get enough of Both you and you The ones who enter my brain and won’t leave The ones who invade my thoughts and Dreams The two who make me beautiful