should i stay, or should i go...

i have always been a social person. i was the girl who would make it a personal goal to introduce myself to every person at a function, and i do mean every person. so i find it kind of odd that i have opted to stay home and watch jane goodall, or bones instead of joining my friends for libations. it's not that i don't want to see them, i just can't muster enthusiasm to be around others. i suppose i have had to learn to like my own company since my hubby has been in and out for weeks at a time, but i have always used that time as a way to hang out just with friends. i miss the light-hearted hang-outs of yore. we used to just be able to get together, drink, laugh, now it always feels strained. everyone with their busy lives. i was told that i can be too clingy, and that sort of thing sticks with you, however, now that i have let go there is no one out there to let go of. i dunno, i miss having a regular group. i ahve wasted too much time and energy trying to be friends with people who don't return the favor, i want my friends to like me and like spending time with me, i surely do them. eh, fuck 'em.