Sun and Sweat

It is officially summer, though if you live in the desert, summer started in April.  Time management has never been my strong suit. I tend to live in the moment and get caught up in whatever I am doing. I have made good use of my alarm on my phone and always have at least five reminders a day.  I have found though, that being a stay at home mom trashes any notion of a routine I might have. My life is ruled by a tiny person. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter, I love not having a rigorous schedule, I love being able to spend twenty minutes playing peekaboo. The issue I face is that the rest of the world is still on a schedule.  So how do I reconcile taking care of my baby and staying on a schedule? Many people have said to me, that's just how it goes, or you just make it work. Have we really become so callous to moms? Raising a child is hard work! I am not wallowing or saying boo hoo, however, the attitude is horrible.  Moms don't get enough credit, dammit! We are just supposed to suck it up, and deal. I keep reading blogs and posts about this sort of thing, and it seems to be a polarizing topic.  Either people are too sensitive or they are accused of being mean. Why can't we, as parents, come together as a team? Support one and other, rejoice in accomplishments and commiserate when frustrated? Just food for thought.

Change is the only constant

As I sit on my porch, enjoying the little amount of alone time I get, I look out at my yard. There are two shovels jutting out of a mound from a half dug trench. The rusty lines of an archaic sprinkler system lie, exposed, taking a 90 degree turn before disappearing into the dirt again. The orange spray paint has all but faded from where I mapped out our future grass patch. I have to finish digging before Jon goes back to work in as little as a week. Ugh.

connections

Lost Lovers (clipped to polyvore.com)

Musings

those who liquify the thoughts that trip off our minds,

you you who slip past us, unsusspectingly, thoughtless,

we fall so so so carefully, slowly, softly,

i hit the pavement with the force of all that has come before me

the wight of the world is on my shoulders

and yet all i want to do is throw a party

who am i to be the bearer of it all?

i am no one,

as are you

do not carry the weight

it is as light as feather

and as heavy as the sun

i love

i live

i am

we all grow like the endless weeds on the fence line

those who say we will fail

those who do not understand

those who dictate what we do

they are the problem

i do not obey you

you are not my deity

i do not have to answer to you

i only have to answer to myself

and the answer is

yes

time and tide wait for no man

I must remember

remember the way you feel

remember the way you touch me

the way you look at me and the way you smell,

because someday it will be gone

it will be different

it will be gone

not entirely,

but this

this will be gone

lying in bed,

smiling, laughing

in your embrace

these past months have reminded me of what it is like

to be loved

i wish it would never end

i would spend an eternity entwined with you,

watching movies

listening to the rain stream off the porch

i must remember this,

because

this too shall pass

oh, those summer nights

we have been in a drought for so long, this week has brought beautiful, big, fat, pancake drops to quench our thirst! i love it. i was sitting on the porch just watching the rain pool and slide off the roof. it was amazing. it took ten minutes to cool the air twenty degrees. i felt so full of love and calmness. i sat in the warm embrace of a kindred soul, drinking up the love that was given to me. i have had moments lately where and when i have been completely at peace. falling into a soft sweaty embrace, laughing till i can't think, all of this is much more meaningful that any professional development or training that i have ever had. the summer has brought so much more than heat, it has brought awakening, confusion, lust, and reflection. i dont know where i'm going, but i am having a blast getting there.

republican nominees

michele bachmann is a crazy bitch, who has a very limited knowledge base, which she is using to gain popularity