so, i go from not being abe to sleep, to emmense amounts of crazy intense, vivid dreams! i have had at least three separate vivid dreams within the last week. one: has been about a christmas journey. this dream consists of benign x-mas related things; finding and cutting down a tree, doing the normal x-mas thing, garlands, ornaments, that wierd box that no one remembers packing, but has somehow ended up in the obligatory "X-MAS 04" box scrawled in sharpie, that you haven't seen for years. the odd box, with the strange ornament that you made in fourth grade, (by today's standards, would have landed you squarely in special ed) kind of ornament. You smell that rank, cotton ball-ey should have been thrown-out-with-the-rotten-trash-kind-of-smell. AHHH, that's X-mass kind of smell. So, getting back on track, i have been having those kind of dreams... i dreamt that it was my high school reunion. one of our activities was going to a cirque du soleil show. while there i saw rachael brown, who i have't thought about years, there. we talked, like any strange happening, and went on our ways; upon reflection, i think my interpritation of the dream is more important than the dream itself.
Next i had a "stranded in a car over-night" dream about one of my male friends. it was very vivid. we were caught in a snow storm. supplies were limited. we could not afford to waste gas on heat so we had to provide our own! his scruffly face pressed to my bossom was not enough to satify the urge that lurked within... you can use your imagination to fill in the rest, sufficit to say i need to get back to the easel! all of this energy should be better weell spent!

some things come from nothing

i have had a better time sleeping, my dreams have been very odd though. i had a zombie dream the other night. my family and i were trapped in a gas station. we sent out a beacon, and some of my friends arrived, the gas station turned into a big house, kind of like a model home, well, someone drove a van through the house, and our safety was compromised, so we had to run. we had a pretty good group, and we left in a caravan of sorts. we drove to a hotel with a parking garage, and what seemed to be a bunch of freeway on-ramps that lead to the hotel. it had a large plot of land behind it, on a sort of bluff, or cliff. my friends, who recently got married in real life, had not gotten married yet, and "today" was their wedding day, so in a strange frantic ceremony, we had to have their wedding on this bluff before the zombies got us... it gets kind of fuzzy after that. the next night i had a bunch of strange dreams in which i had missing limbs. i wasn't scared, or upset by these dreams, in fact they were interesting and warrant reflection. i started a new piece, pastels and i cut my hair. i still have this unsettled feeling, and i am in a way happy that this year is nearly over. it has been memorable, that's for sure. challenging. i like my new piece, it's very calm though, not at all reflecting my state of mind right now. i have found that if i am calm, my work is loud and kind of disturbing, but if i am restless, my work is collected. odd. it is pretty balanced though i guess.

sleep aids

been having trouble sleeping lately... not really sure why. i have embarked on a new chapter in my artistic career, and it is very interesting, time comsuming but exciting. i have started making greeting cards with prints of my work. it is going well and i like the quality. i really like to branch out and this is a new venture for me. i don't really know anyone else in my position, so i am kind of learning as i go. i have not been working on anything new in a number of months, it feels strange, but i have been so focused on the business aspect that it hasn't been as bad as when i have taken a break before. i went out to vegas earlier this month and made a lot of progress. i really liked the artists i met, and i feel confident about setting up shop for the first fridays. it is going to take a lot of work, which i am up for, however, i still have this nagging feeling of waiting. i want to be there now, because i feel that the distance and solitary lifestyle will really help. the seclusion is something i have thought about a lot. i will be away from family, friends, familiar places and routines, all of which i am fine with. being away from jon, my husband, is what i have had trouble with. i think it will be productive, but i don't know what i will feel after a month, or two. i have never had a problem with independence, i know i will be fine, i have never been great with change though. my work is constantly changing, getting better and evolving so i'm sure this will change it again. so i've been having trouble sleeping.